Tonight (or today)

I haven't updated in a LONG while.

But tonight I'm wishing that my sweet baby girl would move back home.  With me.

I never thought I'd live to see the day she chose to live anywhere else (some place other than where I was)...but, for the millionth time in this lifetime, I was wrong.

If you REALLY know me, I'm sure you're thinking, "Well, that's a shocker."  "What a game changer."  "Betcha didn't see that one coming."  And you'd all be so RIGHT.

I never thought this would happen, didn't see it coming.  And, yes, its a game changer.  I mean, who else carries their child (who weighs every bit as much as they do) downstairs to watch Sponge Bob and Little Bill and drink hot chocolate before school every single day thought this would ever happen...right?!?

I've grown up with my sweet baby, not that I've ever acted like her "friend," because I haven't.  I've been a Mama.  From day one.  I've grown up with her.  That tends to happen when you decide to keep a baby when everyone says you shouldn't.  Because you KNOW that what you have inside you is destined for great things.

She taught me what it meant to be a Mama.

She taught me what it meant to love unconditionally.

I know my hard limits: what I would live and die for.  And Paige makes the list.

And she's gone.  To live elsewhere.

And my heart breaks.

Over and over.

And I love her, still.

A New Year!!

I've been doing some thinking about my New Year's Resolutions. I do this every year, try to set one (or ten,) and usually by February they are out-of-sight, out-of-mind. I made some resolutions last year, and I thought they were good: well thought out, things that I knew I needed to improve on. Well, I can't say they were ever out of my mind, I just didn't quite accomplish what I wanted. I ran in to several set backs, several things out of my control that made it hard to continue working toward my resolutions (or so it appeared in my mind anyway, and looking back, I totally could have handled the situations differently and improved the results...anyway, that's another story for another time). So, once I 'perfect' my resolutions once again, I'll share them. Until then, I'll leave you with an image of two of my fav characters...and a little hint about my resolutions.

There was something else I wanted to share that I read today: 31 Ways to Simplify Your Life by Phil Callaway...fitting for a new year.

"I'm told the Koala bear sleeps 22 hours a day. I'm not recommending this. But here are 31 ways you can slow down your life a little this month. Why not try at least one a day?

1. Take a child for a walk. Make sure it's your child. (If you don't have a child, borrow one from a friend.)

2. Try everything offered by the supermarket food demonstrators.

3. Reread a favorite book.

4. If possible, have a pet.

5. Refrain from envy. Genuinely compliment those who have more than you.

6. Make Sunday a day of rest. Start by leaving your watch off all day. Or at least during the sermon.

7. Learn to say no politely and quickly. Practice on telemarketers if necessary.

8. Learn more about the stars. Then lie on your back and find them.

9. Live by the calendar, not the stopwatch.

10. Each day when you wake up, let your first activity be prayer.

11. Wave at children on school buses.

12. Plan some leisure time each day.

13. Buy a bird feeder and hang it outside your window.

14. Learn to enjoy food. Take longer to eat it.

15. Don't major on minor issues.

16. Attend your child's recitals and plays. Compliment the teacher.

17. Don't give your kids the best of everything. Give them your best.

18. Never miss a chance to read a child a story.

19. When you're alone in the car, sing loudly. Don't forget to roll up the windows.

20. As often as you can, give thanks.

21. Avoid negative or overly competitive people.

22. Wear a wild t-shirt under your fancy suit.

23. Change into casual clothes when you get home from work.

24. When you can, buy secondhand.

25. Remember, God doesn't have a wristwatch.

26. As soon as you can, pay your debts.

27. Find a good reason to laugh in the next three minutes.

28. Forget the Joneses. They aren't so happy.

29. Find something you really like and give it away.

30. Read Matthew 6 and then take a walk and think about it.

31. Observe the speed limit."