To everything there is a purpose and a season

I haven't written anything in many, many months because life changed.  And when life changes, we change with it to survive.
This blog cataloged memories that were made and experiences I wanted to share.  While I'll always recollect the things I wrote about, its time to end this portion of my life, blog included.
Please feel free to find my new blog: Confessions of a Middle School NyQuil Addict at jodydoniel.blogspot.com, if you'd like to follow me there.  I'm certain you'll find more randomness than you care to read once I get it going!
Farewell, On the Edge (of Arkansas) friends!!

Tonight (or today)

I haven't updated in a LONG while.

But tonight I'm wishing that my sweet baby girl would move back home.  With me.

I never thought I'd live to see the day she chose to live anywhere else (some place other than where I was)...but, for the millionth time in this lifetime, I was wrong.

If you REALLY know me, I'm sure you're thinking, "Well, that's a shocker."  "What a game changer."  "Betcha didn't see that one coming."  And you'd all be so RIGHT.

I never thought this would happen, didn't see it coming.  And, yes, its a game changer.  I mean, who else carries their child (who weighs every bit as much as they do) downstairs to watch Sponge Bob and Little Bill and drink hot chocolate before school every single day thought this would ever happen...right?!?

I've grown up with my sweet baby, not that I've ever acted like her "friend," because I haven't.  I've been a Mama.  From day one.  I've grown up with her.  That tends to happen when you decide to keep a baby when everyone says you shouldn't.  Because you KNOW that what you have inside you is destined for great things.

She taught me what it meant to be a Mama.

She taught me what it meant to love unconditionally.

I know my hard limits: what I would live and die for.  And Paige makes the list.

And she's gone.  To live elsewhere.

And my heart breaks.

Over and over.

And I love her, still.

A New Year!!

I've been doing some thinking about my New Year's Resolutions. I do this every year, try to set one (or ten,) and usually by February they are out-of-sight, out-of-mind. I made some resolutions last year, and I thought they were good: well thought out, things that I knew I needed to improve on. Well, I can't say they were ever out of my mind, I just didn't quite accomplish what I wanted. I ran in to several set backs, several things out of my control that made it hard to continue working toward my resolutions (or so it appeared in my mind anyway, and looking back, I totally could have handled the situations differently and improved the results...anyway, that's another story for another time). So, once I 'perfect' my resolutions once again, I'll share them. Until then, I'll leave you with an image of two of my fav characters...and a little hint about my resolutions.

There was something else I wanted to share that I read today: 31 Ways to Simplify Your Life by Phil Callaway...fitting for a new year.

"I'm told the Koala bear sleeps 22 hours a day. I'm not recommending this. But here are 31 ways you can slow down your life a little this month. Why not try at least one a day?

1. Take a child for a walk. Make sure it's your child. (If you don't have a child, borrow one from a friend.)

2. Try everything offered by the supermarket food demonstrators.

3. Reread a favorite book.

4. If possible, have a pet.

5. Refrain from envy. Genuinely compliment those who have more than you.

6. Make Sunday a day of rest. Start by leaving your watch off all day. Or at least during the sermon.

7. Learn to say no politely and quickly. Practice on telemarketers if necessary.

8. Learn more about the stars. Then lie on your back and find them.

9. Live by the calendar, not the stopwatch.

10. Each day when you wake up, let your first activity be prayer.

11. Wave at children on school buses.

12. Plan some leisure time each day.

13. Buy a bird feeder and hang it outside your window.

14. Learn to enjoy food. Take longer to eat it.

15. Don't major on minor issues.

16. Attend your child's recitals and plays. Compliment the teacher.

17. Don't give your kids the best of everything. Give them your best.

18. Never miss a chance to read a child a story.

19. When you're alone in the car, sing loudly. Don't forget to roll up the windows.

20. As often as you can, give thanks.

21. Avoid negative or overly competitive people.

22. Wear a wild t-shirt under your fancy suit.

23. Change into casual clothes when you get home from work.

24. When you can, buy secondhand.

25. Remember, God doesn't have a wristwatch.

26. As soon as you can, pay your debts.

27. Find a good reason to laugh in the next three minutes.

28. Forget the Joneses. They aren't so happy.

29. Find something you really like and give it away.

30. Read Matthew 6 and then take a walk and think about it.

31. Observe the speed limit."

Birthday Weekend!!

Paige's birthday is tomorrow...15 years old already. It just doesn't seem possible.
She's been celebrating pretty much all weekend! Friday night mall trip and sleep-over birthday party with some friends, Saturday trip to Little Rock with her dad, today birthday party with her dad...whew, that girl likes to celebrate!
Paige is such a precious girl. I love that kid so much!!

Oh what fun!

For the first time since living in Siloam, tonight I went on the Candlelight Christmas Homes Tour (or some really big name like that). I went with a group of hilarious ladies to dinner, then prowled through homes I'd never been in...it was a voyeur's dream come true. Instead of creeping by slowly in my car, hoping to see Christmas decorations through any windows that were accidentally exposed, I just walked right in to these houses! Oh, the ideas I walked away with...if only I had enough time to make my house look like those.
Guess I better get busy and get my tree out of the spare room, knock the dust off that monster, and get it decorated!

Forgive and Forget

If I said that life was full of things that could hurt us, damage our sense of self, knock us to our knees, that would probably come as no surprise to you. And I, like most of you, have faced some pretty hurtful things in my life.

Yesterday I came face to face with one of those hurtful things. My initial reaction was anger. I think that's pretty normal. In working with kids who have been 'hurt' in one way or another, I've learned that the go-to emotion when you don't understand something is typically anger. And let me tell you, I felt what those little kids must feel in full force: an anger that starts deep inside and wells up until you feel physically sick, like someone has kicked you in the stomach and you can't breathe. And I almost let it get the best of me.

As adults we all know its better to forgive and forget, to move on, to get over it, but I never realized just how difficult that could be. Needless to say, I had a hard time sleeping last night due to the racing thoughts that were swirling inside my curly head. As I was lying in bed last night and this morning, I played the situation over and over and know where I went wrong. I'm not meant to judge people or situations, I'm human, and that's a job for Someone much bigger than me. I've been shown the greatest mercy mankind will every know: forgiveness. A gift I certainly don't deserve, by Someone who has never met me on this Earth...and that grace is overly extended by Him every single day as I flounder through life trying to do the right thing and falling terribly short!

I saw a post on Twitter last night by Paige. Funny how you can gain insight from the thoughts of a teenager who is an obsessive tweeter!! :) It was simple: forgive & forget #wordstoliveby
I need to forgive (I think I've already done that, but perhaps I need to do a little more examining) and FORGET (that's going to be the hard part, since I have the memory of an elephant..I really hope their memories are as great as everyone thinks they are, or else I've been horribly misled my entire life).

This morning I was drawn back to two scriptures that I memorized decades ago when I faced some very hurtful times: Matthew 7:1-2 "Do not judge, lest you be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you." and Luke 6:37 "And do not judge and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; pardon and you will be pardoned." #REALWORDSTOLIVEBY

I am thankful for...

So, today at work, I was doing a lesson with some kindergartners. We talked about thankfulness, read a book about Thanksgiving, and wrote a sentence. I gave them a starter, "I am thankful for..." and they had to complete the sentence and draw a picture of what they were most thankful for. I saw lots of "mommy," "my family," and even "my dog." But the one I found most amusing was: I am thankful for...chezbrgrs. That's kindergarten for 'cheeseburgers'. What made it even more amusing was that the kid was Arabic. :)
Then tonight at church, the youth group talked about what they were thankful for and wrote thank-you-notes to someone they were thankful for. That made me really think...what am I thankful for?
I'm thankful for MANY things!
1. I'm thankful that I have a God who loves me, faults and all, and accepts me just like I am.
2. I'm thankful for my little family: Paige and Michael. They keep me running like a crazy woman, but I love them so much!
3. I'm extremely thankful for my extended family and our love for each other. Mama and Roy, Daddy and Kelly, Jon, Kayti, Zayne; Mike and Terri, Carl, Matt, Sarah, Alyssa, and Bella. I could list all the special things about each person on my list, but you might get tired of reading. :)
4. I'm thankful for an awesome visit with my Mama last night. It felt so good to relax and laugh with her! She's the best mom EVER, and I hope when Paige looks back, she will think the same thing about me.
5. I'm thankful for wonderful friends who love and support me. I hope I'm as much of an encouragement to them as they are to me.
6. I'm thankful for a job where I feel like I can help others.
7. I'm thankful for a reliable car to get me to and from all the places I go!
8. I'm thankful for a warm, cozy home.
9. I'm thankful that I wake up every morning, ready to face the day.
10. I'm thankful that I've never had to worry about food or clothing.
11. I'm thankful for a strong body and mind!
12. I'm thankful for forgiveness.
I could go on and on, but that's where I'll stop for tonight. :)